Babblings on a dreary Sunday evening.

While concealing in the shadows of your bedroom after school comes to an end sounds like a good idea, I can ensure you it is not. Having disrupted a routine acquired over 14 years of schooling, many find it hard to adjust to a new pattern, much like myself. We have it ingrained into our minds from early on that we must follow a system; birth, childhood, school, adulthood, work, death. Many prefer not to talk about the latter as if it were irrelevant. What I can't seem to apprehend is the fact that after so many years of schooling nothing will come of it. Surely I will get a 'higher education' somewhere along the line, but that only accounts for some of the knowledge that I have come to understand. I don't understand why there must be so much pressure put on todays generation and the generations to come to live up to there predecessors. I want to discover the things I want to know about, not things someone thinks I should know about. To live life how I want to, but because of todays society nothing comes without a price anymore, so to do just some of the things I want to are impossible. So I sit in my room to my chagrin, wondering how it ever came to the point in my life where I stopped looking at reality and delved into a different place of being.

Catch up

Things that have been happening the past few months:

• I went to more parties/outings than I have ever been to from the ages 12-16, which is kinda lame, but hey at least its a start and I don't feel as much as a social oddity anymore.
• I graduated from highschool.
• I'm almost finished my HSC exams.
• I finished my major work in art (I'll post pictures once its returned to me from marking)
• I dyed my hair back to brown/black.
• I had my formal.
• I stopped trying to please everyone by acting differently.
• I gained like 10 kilos from stressing out about school.
• I started working out to lose those 10 kilos.
• I applied for University
• Got my first car.
• and a heap of other somewhat boring stuff but eh.

So that what's been happening to summarise.

Im back...Sorta

I can't remember the last time I made a post here. I have now graduated from High school and am currently doing my HSC exams. I have two more left to go: Chemistry and Visual Arts. I'm currently looking for work and will be able to have more time to make posts on this blog again. YAY

....

I'm freaking out so badly. I may not show it to the people around me, but my mind is racing. Schools nearly over in a matter of almost 12 weeks. I have my yearlies and HSC trials next term, my BOW of work is due in 5 weeks, I'm so stressed out about it. I can't study to save my life. I'll sit down with a pen and paper and try right down the stuff I need to remember but after about 30mins I can't do it anymore. I'm going to fail chemistry because my teacher is lazy and gets us to learn of youtube videos every lesson (like that's going to help with anything) and Im going to fail math.

We just had a take home test for math and I honestly could not finish it, I know I have done the stuff in class but I just am unable to do it. I feel really bad and horrible, I do not want to fail my HSC, considering I need to get at least 80 in all my subjects ( Mathematics 2 unit, Advanced English, Biology, Chemistry and Visual Arts) to get to both of the Universities I'm applying to that have the course I want to study.

I want to do a Bachelor of Fine Arts/Arts and instead of 4th year honours, Im going to be doing secondary teaching.
I also need to find a job.
It's I don't know How Im going to do any of this.

Wax flowers!!

Posted this on facebook already, but its needs to be here too.
It took me 5 whole hours to make these two flowers made from wax. They are extremely brittle and delicate, so I don’t know how I’m going to go about making them safe on my artwork when they get sent off in August for marking. I have another 17 of these babies to make, then to spray paint them with black enamel and finish them off with silver leafing around the petals’ edges. It really is time consuming, but in the long run will be so worth it.

Body of work will consist of:

• 7-9 paintings
• 15 ‘melting’ wax clocks ( including motors so that they work)
• 17 of these flowers
• 1 carved/scratched/embossed aluminum sheet.

School, school and more school. This is really tiring. Tomorrow I have a meeting discussing about what Scholarships I can get. I need to apply before the end of this month, some require a Portfolio on a CD so I have to figure out how I'm going to go about that. School has a strike Friday 1st and 2nd period, so that means no school for me, and I miss out on two hours of art practical work that should be used toward my BOW, but nope they have to take away my lessons. Next Friday I have no school either 'cause of some carnival; this means 4 hours of practical time  have gone down the drain and I have to somehow figure a way to make that up. Tomorrow I have an update on the wax works + paintings as a whole, because I would appreciate peoples opinions on the progress

Help me pick!!

Okay so my yr 12 graduation formal is in September and I need a dress, these are the two I have picked out, I'm leaning more towards the aqua coloured on the right but I want another persons opinion on which one I'm going to possibly choose.

timetable

Got my end of the year examination timetable and Found two colleges and one University that I’m going to apply to to try and do a 3 year Bachelor in fine arts/arts with a 4th year secondary teaching diploma. Trying to find suitable scholarships to apply for. Hopefully I can go to the college of fine arts (COFA) and exchange study one semester at Berlin University of the arts (Germany). All these application processes are so confusing :(

Cat. School. Winter. Food.

Twice in two days, Rusty my cat has decided to get close and comfy on me lap while I surf the interwebs. It's the end of April and its already dropping to about 13°C through the day and colder at night, I think we are headed for a very cold Winter this year, considering we had an extremely rainy and wet summer. 

Tomorrow my school is having a cross country event thingo and everyone is expected to go, but considering I only have school for two hours I'm not going to be staying to be stuck on a field on soggy grass being yelled at by teachers 'cause I'm not sitting in the right areas. So I'm gonna go home and make some Quiche. I'm going to look up some recipes for ideas that I can add to my own recipe that I already have, maybe some more herbs and spices to give it a more fulfilling flavour.  Currently our capsicum plants that we have been growing in the vege patch are just about ready to be picked and eaten so I might add some of that.

 Going to go embroider something .

Hair and school

Trying to decide whether or not I want might hair back to this colour, will be dyeing it again at the end of this week.

I have school tomorrow. After two weeks of holidays it feels like a month has gone by, yet it doesn't feel long enough. I'm dreading going back tomorrow because I know for there are a few people that I really want to avoid having any contact with. I got to get all my school stuff together, cause at the moment its scattered all throughout my house and unorganised. I'll make a post tomorrow about any new stuff that happens at school, or I find out about.

Painting

I'm in the process of painting bark on a tree in oil paint. It has taken me 3 hours just to do this little part because I have to keep going over and over it again. Hopefully it will look good when its done

School

Did another Prac in chemistry today, we are all so far behind its not even funny, the teacher is so slow going through the topic and hardly ever explains anything, literally frustrating. Now I'm doing math homework, cause I need to catch up. I really should stop falling asleep in my classes.


I'm so annoyed at the moment. I hate it when someone describes an event that has happened but changes it around to make me sound like some frivolous needy bitch that always wants attention. I've usually brushed it off, because it really is silly, but its got me wondering what I have ever done to seem that way. I guess some things I'll never understand.

Nothing interesting

I wore a beanie to school today because I couldn't be bother styling my hair a certain way, and now its has left me with very flat hair. I want to wash it later because I find whenever I wear a beanie it makes my hair unbelievably oily and disgusting. Also I'm thinking about cutting it just a bit, not shortening it just thinning it out so its not so big at the ends of my hair and makes it easier to manage. 

I got an assessment for Literacy also, it's a speech comparison between Blade Runner and Frankenstein. I'm actually pretty confident in making it (not the speaking part, that always sucks). That's due in about 2 weeks so I should get started on it now.